Friday, January 18, 2013
My Day
Deqlan has a 2-hour delay which means Hayden has a 1-hour delay...this is my day...
Drop Hayden off for 10am...kill time before I can drop Deqlan off at 10:45am...kill time before picking Hayden up at 12:10...Did I mention this requires driving back and forth 15 miles to drop H off...15 miles to drop D off...15 miles to pick H up...15 miles home...Will update later!
Thursday, January 17, 2013
SNOW?!?!
uGGHHHHHH!!! The dreaded S word has made it's way into the forecast for tonight/tomorrow morning. Now growing up I loved snow days but now with the boys in school that will completely throw off my day if when they cancel school for tomorrow. January 2005 our county got hit with a crazy ice storm one morning (like after school started) and the county waited too long to send kids home from school and a lot of kids ended up stuck at school for the night, people were stuck on the roads for hours. It took me and CJ 6 hours to get home from his work which was only 10 minutes from where we were living. Did I mention I was 7 months pregnant with Deqlan? Yeah it was crazy!!! In any event, ever since then the school system is over-cautious about cancelling school (where when I was in school they waited until 6am to cancel anything). I bet we will have an announcement about a cancellation/delay by 8:30pm tonight. Now the weather all depends on when the "cold front" arrives. I am not looking forward to tonight's weather because we will be at the bowling center and will have to drive home in it. I am supposed to have physical therapy in the morning but I will have to cancel if the boys don't have school which means I may have to go Saturday morning. I really need to get two visits a week in.
Speaking of my physical therapy. I am going to the same place I went during Summer of 2011 when I started this whole big mess with my knee (at least this go round) and I love my therapist there BUT they have changed the way they charge you. Now I have to pay $75/visit until I reach my $2500 deductible. It used to be $13/visit. So frustrating. I wanted to go 3 times a week but we only put $100/month on our health card!! We had some money left on it from last year so I'll go twice a week for the 4 weeks he recommended and then hopefully I can just do the rest of the exercises at home. I haven't even gotten the bills from the anesthesiologist from my surgery or from the surgeon yet. I just know how much we owe the surgery center. And with all of CJ's stuff last week we have MORE THAN MET his deductible for the year. Crazy!!!
Sorry I have been such a horrible blogger lately. As I posted last night I'm dealing with some things emotionally and mentally that I need to get under control.
Speaking of my physical therapy. I am going to the same place I went during Summer of 2011 when I started this whole big mess with my knee (at least this go round) and I love my therapist there BUT they have changed the way they charge you. Now I have to pay $75/visit until I reach my $2500 deductible. It used to be $13/visit. So frustrating. I wanted to go 3 times a week but we only put $100/month on our health card!! We had some money left on it from last year so I'll go twice a week for the 4 weeks he recommended and then hopefully I can just do the rest of the exercises at home. I haven't even gotten the bills from the anesthesiologist from my surgery or from the surgeon yet. I just know how much we owe the surgery center. And with all of CJ's stuff last week we have MORE THAN MET his deductible for the year. Crazy!!!
Sorry I have been such a horrible blogger lately. As I posted last night I'm dealing with some things emotionally and mentally that I need to get under control.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Clearing My Head
This is a post I've been thinking about writing for a week now. I'm having a hard time doing so but I need to clear my head! There are so many things going through my mind right now about CJ's health and it is driving me crazy. I will be spending tomorrow morning researching local therapists so I can find someone to go talk to. CJ and I try not to talk about his health issues while the boys are awake, but I have some things that I'm worried about that I don't want to talk to him about right now (we just had a long talk about a few of these things a month or so ago but given what happened last week it is on my mind again). It is not fair to stress CJ out more with my concerns. I could talk to my mom but I really feel like I need an impartial party.
When we found out last March what CJ's actual diagnosis was (Gorham's Disease) we were also informed that there will come a time where he will no longer be able to work, he will end up in a wheelchair, and will have a shorter life because of it. At first it truly freaked me out. But he started feeling better and those thoughts went on the back burner. At the beginning of December when CJ was starting to feel worse he had a rough night of horrible thoughts invading his head. He took an hour long shower where we sat on the floor of the shower crying because he was thinking about how his dad didn't get to meet me or the boys and he doesn't want that to happen to him. He is concerned about me and the boys when he is gone. At the time I still wasn't concerned about any of these things. We know it is going to happen one day, but I in my heart knew it wouldn't be anytime soon.
Last Wednesday when I was brought back to recovery to see CJ after his procedure I seriously thought this was it. He was in so much pain that they could not get under control. I am absolutely terrified of losing him. This past week has seriously put everything into perspective for me. I have hardly slept in a week, I keep asking him how he is feeling, and I stress myself out wondering how his day is and when he doesn't answer the phone I freak out. I cannot keep going on like this. It is time to talk to someone and possibly get some medicine for anxiety/depression issues. I have battled depression since Deqlan was born but it has never been bad enough where I felt the need to see someone about it. I need to get myself healthy in all aspects of life for the boys. They need to have one healthy parent.
Getting myself healthy will include losing weight once I am cleared by my surgeon and physical therapist to do more activity. I'll be joining the local gym and working out while Hayden is at school. I need to get this weight off of my body not only to be healthier but to prevent needing this same surgery on my right knee. And I need to get myself mentally healthy (does that even make sense).
When we found out last March what CJ's actual diagnosis was (Gorham's Disease) we were also informed that there will come a time where he will no longer be able to work, he will end up in a wheelchair, and will have a shorter life because of it. At first it truly freaked me out. But he started feeling better and those thoughts went on the back burner. At the beginning of December when CJ was starting to feel worse he had a rough night of horrible thoughts invading his head. He took an hour long shower where we sat on the floor of the shower crying because he was thinking about how his dad didn't get to meet me or the boys and he doesn't want that to happen to him. He is concerned about me and the boys when he is gone. At the time I still wasn't concerned about any of these things. We know it is going to happen one day, but I in my heart knew it wouldn't be anytime soon.
Last Wednesday when I was brought back to recovery to see CJ after his procedure I seriously thought this was it. He was in so much pain that they could not get under control. I am absolutely terrified of losing him. This past week has seriously put everything into perspective for me. I have hardly slept in a week, I keep asking him how he is feeling, and I stress myself out wondering how his day is and when he doesn't answer the phone I freak out. I cannot keep going on like this. It is time to talk to someone and possibly get some medicine for anxiety/depression issues. I have battled depression since Deqlan was born but it has never been bad enough where I felt the need to see someone about it. I need to get myself healthy in all aspects of life for the boys. They need to have one healthy parent.
Getting myself healthy will include losing weight once I am cleared by my surgeon and physical therapist to do more activity. I'll be joining the local gym and working out while Hayden is at school. I need to get this weight off of my body not only to be healthier but to prevent needing this same surgery on my right knee. And I need to get myself mentally healthy (does that even make sense).
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Life
We have had a busy and stressful week. I am happy to say that all four of us are home together again. I wish I could say that I never want to step foot into that hospital again but I know that is not reasonable or realistic given CJ's health issues.
Tuesday afternoon I did go to the dentist. No I did not have any issues with any of my teeth. Turns out I had yet another sinus infection. You could see my sinus cavity on the x-ray that's how inflamed they were. Started antibiotics for that. Haven't seen much improvement yet but I ended up skipping a day of medication while we were at the hospital.
Wednesday afternoon was CJ's blood patch appointment which actually started on time (shocking I know). A typical blood patch should only take 45 minutes to an hour CJ's take 2-2 1/2 hours. By the time I got back to recovery to see him it was almost 5 o'clock (I wanted to be on the road by 5 to head home). He was in so much pain, couldn't keep anything down, his blood pressure was through the roof, and sweat was pouring off of him. After giving him some pain meds & some nausea meds and not seeing any improvement the doctor gave us the option of admitting him or going home to see how he felt. Since we live an hour away going home really wasn't an option. Into the hospital we went. He ended up needing a spinal tap Wednesday night to drain fluid off. That gave him some relief for about an hour. The rest of the night was spent listening to him yell and moan about how much pain he was in and with nurses coming in every hour to give him an assortment of meds. Originally the doctor said he'd be admitted as a 23-hr. observation. She came Thursday morning and decided to go ahead and do another spinal tap with talks of having to do another one Thursday evening. We knew then we weren't going anywhere on Thursday. I was heartbroken. After Thursday mornings spinal tap CJ saw a lot of relief that was actually lasting. Not sure if all of it was from the spinal tap or if it was in addition to all of the medications that they were pumping into him. Thankfully he did not need another spinal tap. We spent the rest of Thursday trying to rest. First thing Friday morning the doctor came in and said we could go home! We were finally discharged about 10:45. We had to stop and pick up quite a few new prescriptions (one that I spent all day trying to track down only to find out that the resident wrote the script wrong!). By the time I was able to sit down and rest last night (after a very long shower) it was 7pm. I was asleep sometime before 10 last night.
We have been through so much with CJ's health in the last year, well actually in the last 3 years. I feel bad for the boys. I am so thankful that my parents live so close to us and are able and willing to drop whatever they are doing to help with the boys. On Wednesday both boys were at different houses until we were done at the hospital. My mom ended up picking them both up and swinging by our house to get clothes and Deqlan's lunch for Thursday. My dad stayed home from work on Thursday and took both boys to school and picked them up. Mom made another late night run to my house to get more clothes for the boys for Friday. Friday morning Deqlan woke up with a migraine (he's had them for about 2 years now) and Hayden had a nasty cold so they both stayed home from school with my mom. We were at my mom's by about 1:30 to pick them up Friday afternoon.
Tuesday afternoon I did go to the dentist. No I did not have any issues with any of my teeth. Turns out I had yet another sinus infection. You could see my sinus cavity on the x-ray that's how inflamed they were. Started antibiotics for that. Haven't seen much improvement yet but I ended up skipping a day of medication while we were at the hospital.
Wednesday afternoon was CJ's blood patch appointment which actually started on time (shocking I know). A typical blood patch should only take 45 minutes to an hour CJ's take 2-2 1/2 hours. By the time I got back to recovery to see him it was almost 5 o'clock (I wanted to be on the road by 5 to head home). He was in so much pain, couldn't keep anything down, his blood pressure was through the roof, and sweat was pouring off of him. After giving him some pain meds & some nausea meds and not seeing any improvement the doctor gave us the option of admitting him or going home to see how he felt. Since we live an hour away going home really wasn't an option. Into the hospital we went. He ended up needing a spinal tap Wednesday night to drain fluid off. That gave him some relief for about an hour. The rest of the night was spent listening to him yell and moan about how much pain he was in and with nurses coming in every hour to give him an assortment of meds. Originally the doctor said he'd be admitted as a 23-hr. observation. She came Thursday morning and decided to go ahead and do another spinal tap with talks of having to do another one Thursday evening. We knew then we weren't going anywhere on Thursday. I was heartbroken. After Thursday mornings spinal tap CJ saw a lot of relief that was actually lasting. Not sure if all of it was from the spinal tap or if it was in addition to all of the medications that they were pumping into him. Thankfully he did not need another spinal tap. We spent the rest of Thursday trying to rest. First thing Friday morning the doctor came in and said we could go home! We were finally discharged about 10:45. We had to stop and pick up quite a few new prescriptions (one that I spent all day trying to track down only to find out that the resident wrote the script wrong!). By the time I was able to sit down and rest last night (after a very long shower) it was 7pm. I was asleep sometime before 10 last night.
We have been through so much with CJ's health in the last year, well actually in the last 3 years. I feel bad for the boys. I am so thankful that my parents live so close to us and are able and willing to drop whatever they are doing to help with the boys. On Wednesday both boys were at different houses until we were done at the hospital. My mom ended up picking them both up and swinging by our house to get clothes and Deqlan's lunch for Thursday. My dad stayed home from work on Thursday and took both boys to school and picked them up. Mom made another late night run to my house to get more clothes for the boys for Friday. Friday morning Deqlan woke up with a migraine (he's had them for about 2 years now) and Hayden had a nasty cold so they both stayed home from school with my mom. We were at my mom's by about 1:30 to pick them up Friday afternoon.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Hospital
CJ was admitted to the hospital yesterday following his blood patch. Hope to be back tomorrow.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Pay it Forward!
Here are the details:
The first 5 people to comment with their email (and blog address if you have one) will receive from me, sometime in this calendar year, a suprise gift from me! There will likely be no warning, it will happen when the mood strikes me. We also deserve a little something special every now and then and I would love to hook ya up! :)
The catch? All 5 of you ladies who comment below must make the same offer on your Blog (or Facebook status if you don't have a blog).
The catch? All 5 of you ladies who comment below must make the same offer on your Blog (or Facebook status if you don't have a blog).
Update
Classes started yesterday and I am actually happy about it. It's going to give me something to do with my time again! I am determined to make A's in both of my classes this semester.
For the last four years I have had some tooth/gum pain off and on. By off and on I mean I'll have it for like a week and then it goes away for 8 months or longer. Well the pain started last week (you would think the pain meds would have helped) and has gotten progressively worse. I have been on the verge of tears multiple times this morning because the pain has gotten so bad. I guess I'll call the dentist as soon as they open and hopefully they can get me in while Hayden is at school. I will say though I am going to be livid if they tell me it's a cavity because I was just there for a cleaning in November and had a cavity filled then.
Tomorrow CJ and I will be spending the afternoon at Duke to get his blood patch done. It was during his blood patch last year that we found out that his bone disease was in his back and was the culprit of all of his issues. While we had a CT done in November and they didn't see any new growth or changes we are both a little anxious about tomorrow and what will be found/seen. His appointment isn't until 2 but we have to be there at 1:30 and it's an hour drive out there. He can't eat after 8am so he's going to have to get up with the boys and have a big breakfast. He can't take any meds tomorrow either. Hopefully he handles this one as well as he did the first.
I need to call and make my first physical therapy appointment for next week. Originally the doctor said it would be a month before I started (which I thought sounded weird) but I am glad to be getting started, that just means I am one step closer to being back to bowling.
I got a text message from someone yesterday who I was really close too up until last year. Now she only talks to me when it is convenient for her or if she needs something. I didn't answer which made her angry apparently. I refuse to be used by her anymore than she has already used me and CJ. The boys loved her (Hayden called her sissy) and she just stopped talking to us one day, it broke their hearts.
Well I should probably get ready for the day and get Hayden up and ready for school. I hope everyone has a great day!!!
For the last four years I have had some tooth/gum pain off and on. By off and on I mean I'll have it for like a week and then it goes away for 8 months or longer. Well the pain started last week (you would think the pain meds would have helped) and has gotten progressively worse. I have been on the verge of tears multiple times this morning because the pain has gotten so bad. I guess I'll call the dentist as soon as they open and hopefully they can get me in while Hayden is at school. I will say though I am going to be livid if they tell me it's a cavity because I was just there for a cleaning in November and had a cavity filled then.
Tomorrow CJ and I will be spending the afternoon at Duke to get his blood patch done. It was during his blood patch last year that we found out that his bone disease was in his back and was the culprit of all of his issues. While we had a CT done in November and they didn't see any new growth or changes we are both a little anxious about tomorrow and what will be found/seen. His appointment isn't until 2 but we have to be there at 1:30 and it's an hour drive out there. He can't eat after 8am so he's going to have to get up with the boys and have a big breakfast. He can't take any meds tomorrow either. Hopefully he handles this one as well as he did the first.
I need to call and make my first physical therapy appointment for next week. Originally the doctor said it would be a month before I started (which I thought sounded weird) but I am glad to be getting started, that just means I am one step closer to being back to bowling.
I got a text message from someone yesterday who I was really close too up until last year. Now she only talks to me when it is convenient for her or if she needs something. I didn't answer which made her angry apparently. I refuse to be used by her anymore than she has already used me and CJ. The boys loved her (Hayden called her sissy) and she just stopped talking to us one day, it broke their hearts.
Well I should probably get ready for the day and get Hayden up and ready for school. I hope everyone has a great day!!!
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